Welcome to CmdrTaco.net, the Home Away from Home of Rob Malda. This is the place where you can sit and stare in slackjawed amazement at my collection of Amazingly Stupid Stuff that I actually sat down and took the time to put online. Be afraid.

For your convenience, my Amazingly Stupid Stuff has been divided into 2 convenient easy-for-me-to-screw-up categories. Why are they easy to screw up? Well, because in my world, these categories tend to overlap a tad. Keep reading, you'll see why.

Linux What? You haven't heard of Linux? It's an operating system created by Linus Torvalds, and a band of hacks scattered accross the globe. You can check out My Linux Page if you want some more information, or My Stuff if you are looking for code that I've slapped together over the years. This includes the home of the amazingly outdated ascd, asmixer, asmodem & ascdc (a series of Afterstep and now WindowMaker docklets) as well as some screenshots and configs for some of my Afterstep and Enlightenment desktops.

Slashdot I guess I should just fess up and take the blame- I created Slashdot a long time ago, and now it seems to have grown into something pretty amazing. Come on down and check it out for news about Linux, Open Source Software, Legos, Games, Star Wars, Science, Technology and pretty much anything else that falls into the "News for Nerds, Stuff that Matters" umbrella.

Java Invaders if you came looking for Invaders, then tough beans. Sun asked me to change the name because it contained their highly protected top-secret, we'd tell you, but then we'd have to kill you word: Java. They own Java now. Look out StarBucks. To bad- it used to be a cute Space Invaders Clone. I was always sorta worried Atari would bitch- who knew Sun would.

Raytracer I wrote a cheesy raytracer for a Graphics class back when I was still a part of that whole college education thing. I have here a few of those stereotypical chrome-sphere-rendered-over-checkerboards online to prove that I once actually did some math.

Random Tidbits Assorted knick-knacks that just don't seem to have any other home include Rob's Amazing Hex Triplet O Matic. It allows even idiots like me to get hex codes for background colors- course since The Gimp now does this automatically, I have no clue why you would want this thing.

Here's something I call Rob's Amazing Movie Generator which you can use to generate plot synopsis for blockbuster movies. Another fun one is Rob's Amazing Poem Generator which will write poetry for you, seeded by either a web page, or by /usr/bin/fortune. It's the easy way to cheat on your literature homework.

You could also look at my list of Places on the net worth visiting. It's an old list with a bazillion broken links and sites that just don't even exist any more. And finally, if you're really bored, you can read more than you ever could want to know About Me.

Duckpins Behold my first feeble attempt at the world of Computer Animation in the form of Duckpins. Created during Jan-Feb of 96, I wrote, produced, directed animated edited and catered a 60 second CGI short. Download. Watch. Laugh (please?).

Hamster Havoc Following up a smash hit like Duckpins is no easy task, but I'm the only person obsessive enough to try. During the summer of 96, Rob Malda Films brought Hamster Havoc to to net. You can see exciting stills or even download the whole dang clip. It's the story of a boy, a hamster, and- awh nevermind. Who am I kidding? It barely has a plot. Download it- I think its funny.

Literature? Barely. But I might even be considered a writer. Of course, those who consider me a writer are legally blind. Anyway, Here is a little I wrote called Nerds, Unix, and Virtual Parenting. Here's another little essay I wrote about my recent obsession with Juice. Since I wrote those, most of my writings have moved to Taco Hell. I occasionally rant there about anything that is on my mind. Check it out if you like. Or don't. What do I know?

Cartoons I've scanned in and posted a small collection of Cartoons that I drew during high school. It's a desperate attempt to convince myself that I'm more than a Code Jockey- underneath this pocket protector clad exterior beats the heart of starving artist. Anyway, you can view these various works of mediocrity that I am so ashamed of, that I've placed them here for public ridicule.