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By Sandra Evans
Special to The Washington Post
Thursday, June 22, 2000; Page C04

One of the hardest choices many parents have to make comes right at the beginning of their child's life: Who will care for the little one while Mom and Dad are at work?

For new parents, the options may seem confusing and the process of locating good care daunting. The good news is that there are many resources among public agencies and private organizations ready to help--if you know where to look.

To get started, first decide what type of care you are looking for. There are basically three kinds: day-care centers, family day-care homes, and in-home care by nannies or au pairs.

Then comes the hard part--finding quality care that fits your location and price range. It may take weeks of research, phone calls and visits, but child-care advocates urge parents to take the time upfront to really check out any facility or child-care provider to avoid problems down the road.

"We do monitor . . . but we can't be there every day," says Sharon Schoumacher, licensing administrator in the Northern Virginia regional office of the Virginia Department of Social Services, which licenses and monitors day-care centers and larger family day-care homes.

All local jurisdictions have resource and referral services to direct parents to regulated day-care centers and family day-care providers in their area. State and local governments also can provide licensing and registration information on specific providers. Parents should check these records, which include monitoring reports and a history of any complaints.

Parents should ask for and check references of others who have used the program or provider, and they should visit the program themselves and stay awhile to get a feel for the place, the caregivers and the activities.

Accreditation by a reputable national group, which requires going beyond minimum licensing standards, can mean a higher quality program. Only a small percentage of the country's day-care centers and family day-care providers are accredited.

Searching for a nanny is different. State and local governments don't regulate nannies nor do they have any resource and referral services for them. There are private, for-profit agencies that promise to find and vet a nanny for you, but parents still need to do their own thorough checks.

"People are very much on their own if they are hiring a nanny," says Beth Molesworth, program specialist with Montgomery County Child Care Services, which is working on an information packet on how to hire a nanny.

Regardless of what kind of care you choose, child-care advocates have some general advice for parents.

"Parents need to make sure children are receiving care in a warm, loving environment," says Barbara Willer, spokeswoman for the National Association for the Education of Young Children.

And while government regulation is important, says Willer, it "remains very much a basic floor" for health and safety. "Make sure it's properly licensed, but don't rely just on that."

Here's a rundown on the types of care and some of the things to look for in each:

DAY-CARE CENTERS

Day-care centers involve group care in a facility other than a home. Many don't take children under the age of about 2.

The disadvantages: There are more children in a center than in a family day-care home; the facility may seem impersonal; staff turnover may be high, because day-care workers generally receive low salaries.

Advantages: Good-quality centers often require staff to hold degrees or have extensive training in early childhood education. There are more adults on hand and a director in charge of supervising the program.

Centers may be able to afford to buy more materials and equipment for the children. Also, state or local inspectors monitor health and safety requirements regularly.

Day-care centers in the District must be licensed by the D.C. Department of Health. Those in Maryland and Virginia are licensed and monitored by state agencies. Arlington County has its own day-care center licensing, and centers there have to have state and local licenses.

Preschools and nursery schools, which are part-day educational programs, also must be licensed and in Maryland must have approval by the state Department of Education.

Once you've narrowed your choice, you need to visit, ask a lot of questions and talk to other parents who have used the center.

Some things to look for and ask about:

* Staff-to-child ratios. While state regulations vary, the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) recommends that there be no more than four infants to one caregiver, no more than six toddlers and no more than nine or 10 preschoolers per adult.

* Group size. The NAEYC recommends a maximum of six to eight infants to a group, 10 to 12 toddlers and no more than 18 or 20 preschoolers.

* Staff turnover. Ask what the average length of service is; rapid turnover is bad for children and often is a sign of a low-quality center.

* Staff credentials. Ask about director and teacher degrees, credentials and training.

* Adherence to health and safety rules. During your visit, be sure to notice if workers wash their hands before serving food and if children wash theirs before eating. In facilities with nontoilet-trained children, pay attention to whether workers sanitize changing tables after each use and wear disposable gloves when changing children.

* Interaction between staff and children. If the children seem to be on their own and the teachers are just passively watching, that's a bad sign. Adults should be interacting with and guiding the children.

* An involved, full-time director. Without this, even centers with dedicated staff can run into problems. Ask how long the director has been there and how long she or he plans to stay. When the director is not there, who is in charge? If the answer is vague, be wary.

* The center's program and philosophy. Some are rigid and academic, others more guided by the children's own interests. Do the children spend enough time outside? Do the adults respond to the children's curiosity? Does someone read to the children daily? Are plenty of materials available for the children to explore and make choices?

* How are behavior problems handled?

* Can parents drop in to visit any time? If the answer is no, go elsewhere.

Staffing and programming is more important than an impressive facility. Even the newest building with the best equipment will not make up for ill-trained, disinterested caretakers.

And last, trust your intuition. If the children seem happy and secure, engaged and well-cared for, that's a good sign. If something bothers you about a center, even if you can't put your finger on it, look elsewhere.

FAMILY DAY-CARE HOMES

Many parents like family day-care homes because there is a small number of children and they are in someone's home, rather than a more institutional center. Some see this as the best of both worlds, because the child has a few playmates and one caregiver.

The provider may be in the neighborhood and may have more flexibility to suit parents' unusual work schedules than a center. On the other hand, these homes are not as tightly regulated and monitored as centers. If the provider gets sick or goes on vacation, the parent must come up with substitute care. And you usually are trusting your child to one person, without another set of adult eyes to supervise.

The District and the state of Maryland regulate all family day-care homes in their jurisdictions. Virginia requires state licenses only for providers caring for six or more children. Fairfax County and the City of Alexandria regulate those who care for five or fewer children, while Arlington requires county licensing or approval for those caring for nine or fewer. In other parts of Northern Virginia, providers with five or fewer children may choose to become voluntarily registered or certified once they have met certain standards.

Licensed and registered providers can be found on each locality's resource and referral listing. Reports and records of any violations by these providers also are available through government agencies or the providers themselves, but may not be as detailed as those on day-care centers.

Regulated providers are required to post their license or certification and any findings of violations, and parents should check that as well as assuring that the license or certification is current.

Among the things to look for when considering a family day-care provider:

* Is she licensed or registered? Even if you like the person down the street and she may be a mother herself, that doesn't necessarily make her qualified to care for large numbers of children. Regulation means an authority has determined that she meets at least minimum standards, while you might be reluctant to ask her to undergo a criminal background check or to look under her kitchen sink for unsecured poisons.

* Does she know how to handle emergencies? This means a current CPR certificate, posted emergency phone numbers and an emergency evacuation plan in case of fire.

* What is the maximum number of children she is caring for at any one time? Be sure to ask about how many children she cares for full time, before and after school and how many of her own will be there.

* What is her background and training?

* Is the home cheerful, with plenty of space inside and outside for the children to play? Where do they sleep and eat?

* Are there plenty of different kinds of materials for the children to use?

* Are both you and your child comfortable and able to communicate with her?

* Do the children in her care seem engaged and happy?

* Will anyone else be helping care for the children or filling in? If so, be sure the person has undergone required background checks and meets other licensing or registration requirements.

* Is her diaper-changing area clean and sanitary?

* Where are medicines kept? Are they out of reach of the children?

* Are there any firearms in the home? If so, what safety precautions are taken?

* She should have no qualms about your dropping in at any time unannounced whenever your child is there. If she puts certain times off-limits to parents, or is reluctant to let you inside the home, take your child somewhere else.

* Ask for references and call them. Be sure these are people who have used her to care for their children, not just friends.

NANNIES AND AU PAIRS

People who can afford them often choose to hire nannies to care for their children at home. Many see this option the most like Mom, creating a one-on-one bond between child and caregiver.

"It's very individualized care," says Becky Kavanagh, president of the International Nanny Association (INA).

The disadvantages: Nannies are expensive (with salaries typically starting around $350 or $400 a week for full-time care and higher with more experience), you have to pay employer taxes, no one regulates them or monitors them but you, and if they leave it can be traumatic for the child.

A good way to find a nanny is by networking with other parents using in-home care themselves, who may know of a good, experienced nanny becoming available. Sometimes nanny employers whose children no longer need care will advertise in neighborhood papers that their nanny is looking for a new position.

You can also advertise in local papers and on bulletin boards at local colleges or where you work. If you do, you probably will have to cull through many unqualified candidates before narrowing it down to a few you like.

Nanny agencies offer to do the recruiting and prescreening for you, but also charge hefty fees. They usually promise to do a criminal record check, talk to references and interview candidates before sending them to you. The agencies vary in quality and thoroughness, and you should check their references as well as guarantees and refund policies before signing on. You also can check local consumer agencies and your Better Business Bureau for complaints against these agencies.

Even if you have a wonderful nanny agency, you should only consider this a way of making a first cut. You need to do thorough reference checks yourself, as though no one had done one before.

The most important aspect of checking out a potential nanny is references. Parents who have vetted their own nanny candidates report a high number of phony references, including friends posing as former employers, so try to get a sense of whom you're talking to. Some veteran nanny employers even suggest asking to visit a former employer at home to get a more in-depth picture and to weed out phonies.

Ask references specific questions: How long did she work for you and how old were your children? What was your work schedule and was she flexible about accommodating it? What activities did she do with the children? What did you like best and least about her? How did she fit in with the family? Why did she stop working for you? Ask about any flaws they saw, any problems they had with her and if there is anything else you should know. Be alert to vague answers.

When interviewing the nanny, you also want to be specific about her history and child-care experience, how she would deal with particular problems, how she handles discipline and what she would do with the children.

It's a good idea to require a medical report or physician's clearance to rule out contagious diseases (including TB), signs of drug abuse or any medical condition that would affect the nanny's care of young children.

Once you have hired a nanny, you should drop in unannounced from time to time to see what's going on.

The INA has listings of about 650 member nannies and nanny agencies, who promise to abide by an INA code of recommended practices, and has materials to help parents in hiring a nanny.

"People can call themselves a nanny without any credentials," says INA's Kavanagh. "That is a concern to us."

Au pairs are young women (and some young men) who come from overseas for a year and agree to swap child-care duties for a chance to live with an American family. This program is overseen by the U.S. State Department, which authorizes six au pair agencies nationwide to recruit au pairs and place them in homes. Au pairs are paid a fixed stipend of $139 a week, plus room and board. But parents also have to pay agency fees and transportation and education costs that total around $5,000 to $6,000 a year.

While parents get less expensive live-in care with an au pair, they have to rely largely on the agencies to make a good match or to make a switch if an au pair doesn't work out. The au pairs may not have extensive child-care experience, and parents still need to talk with the au pairs and their references overseas to get a feel for whether the young woman will be a good fit for the family.

Who Makes (and Enforces) the Rules & Regulations?

District of Columbia

Resource and Referral: Washington Child Development Council, 202-387-0002; Licensing & Monitoring: D.C. Department of Health (www.dchealth.com), 202-442-5929; for FOIA on complaints, 202-442-5973; Regulated: All child care centers and family day-care providers.

Maryland

* Montgomery County; Child Care Resource and Referral Center, 301-279-1773; Licensing and Monitoring: Maryland Child Care Administration office, 301-294-0344; What Regulated: Maryland Child Care Administration, 410-767-7805, www.dhr.state.md.us/ccahome.htm, regulates and monitors child-care centers and family day-care providers in Maryland through regional offices. Maryland Department of Education must approve preschool programs: 410-767-0408.

* Prince George's County; Resource/Referral: 301-772-8400; Licensing and Monitoring: Maryland Child Care Administration office, 301-499-3600; Regulated: Same as above.

* Howard County; Resource/Referral: LOCATE: 410-313-1930; Licensing and Monitoring: Maryland Child Care Administration office, 410-750-8770; Regulated: Same as above.

* Southern Tri-County (St. Mary's, Calvert, Charles counties); Resource/Referral: 301-373-6105 or 888-648-4919; Licensing and Monitoring: Maryland Child Care Administration office, 301-475-3770 or 800-874-6797; Regulated: Same as above.

Virginia

* Fairfax County; Resource /Referral: Office for Children Child Care Resource System, 703-449-9555 (includes listings for the City of Fairfax and City of Falls Church); Licensing and Monitoring: Virginia Department of Social Services, 703-934-1505; Fairfax Office for Children, 703-324-8000; www.fairfax.va.us/service/ofc; Regulated: Virginia Department of Social Services (www.dss.state.va.us/division/license/) licenses day-care centers (except those with a religious exemption) and family day-care providers caring for at least six children in their homes. County regulates family day-care providers caring for five or fewer children.

* Arlington County; Resource/Referral: Arlington Child Care Office, 703-228-1685; Licensing and Monitoring: Virginia Department of Social Services regional office, 703-934-1505; Arlington Child Care Office, 703-228-1685; Regulated: Virginia DSS, same as above. Arlington County requires its own license for day-care centers in the county and regulates family day-care providers caring for up to nine children.

* Alexandria; Resource/Referral: Office for Early Childhood Development, 703-838-0750; Licensing and Monitoring: Virginia Department of Social Services area office, 703-934-1505; Alexandria Office for Early Childhood Development, 703-838-0750. To file an FOIA to see reports and complaints against a provider, write to the Office for Citizen Assistance, City Hall, 301 King St., Alexandria 22314; What Regulated: Virginia DSS, same as above. Alexandria regulates family day-care providers caring for five or fewer children.

* Loudoun County; Resource/Referral: Loudoun Department of Social Services, 703-777-0353; Licensing and Monitoring: Virginia Department of Social Services area office, 703-934-1505; Child Nutrition Inc., 800-735-5434; 540-347-3767; The Planning Council, 800-477-3993; What Regulated: Virginia DSS, same as above. Loudoun does not have mandatory regulation of family day-care providers caring for five or fewer children, but providers may opt for voluntary registration through Child Nutrition or the Planning Council.

* Prince William County; Resource/Referral: Prince William Department of Social Services (including for Manassas), 703-792-4300; Licensing and Monitoring: Virginia Department of Social Services Warrenton office (including Manassas, Manassas Park and Woodbridge), 540-347-6345; Prince William Department of Social Services, 703-792-4300; Child Nutrition Inc., 800-735-5434, 540-347-3767; the Planning Council, 800-477-3993; What Regulated: Virginia DSS, same as above. Prince William does not have mandatory regulation of family day-care providers with five or fewer children but has a voluntary certification program through the Department of Social Services. Providers may also opt for voluntary registration through Child Nutrition or the Planning Council.

Other Resources

* National Association for the Education of Young Children, 800-424-2460; www.naeyc.org.

* National Association of Family Child Care, 515-282-8192, 800-359-3817; www.nafcc.org.

* Council for Early Childhood Professional Recognition, 800-424-4310; www.cdacouncil.org.

* International Nanny Association, 856-858-0808 (membership office); 612-937-9494 (home of INA president Becky Kavanagh); www.nanny.org.

* State Department Au Pair Exchange Program, 202-401-9810; www.state.gov.

* Washington Metropolitan Council of Governments, 202-962-3264.

* National Child Care Information Center, 800-616-2242; nccic.org.

* eDaycare.com, www.eDaycare.com.

* "A Caring Choice: Choosing Quality Child Care," an eight-minute video by the D.C. Office of Early Childhood Development, available at D.C. public libraries.

* "Metropolitan Washington Preschool & Daycare Guidebook" ($12.95), by Merry Cavanaugh.

* "The Insider's Guide to Quality Child Care in Greater Washington" (EPM Publications Inc., $12.95), by Mimi Carter.

* "The Nanny Book: The Smart Parent's Guide to Hiring, Firing, and Every Sticky Situation In Between" (St. Martin's Griffin, $14.95), by Susan Carlton and Coco Myers.

* "The Nanny Kit" (Penguin Books), by Kimberly Porrazzo.