27 March 1999 Nutscratch: major policy reversal At the last minute, browser giant Nutscratch Communications have reversed their AOL merger decision. 27 March 1999 Microsoft unveils Hair for Office 2000 We spill the beans on Microsoft's newest product for the upcoming Office 2000 suite. 27 March 1999 Doug S. Dungbeetle: Million dollar deals in dung PC Weak's intrepid dungbeetle has more dung than he can eat with this week's efforts from Oracle, Microsoft, AOL and Sun. 27 March 1999 There’s too much porn on the internet Why is there too much pornography on the internet? Find out in Chuck Wobbly's "The Endless Rant" column. 6 March 1999 Pentium III - serious privacy concerns Serial numbers are just the tip of the iceberg for privacy concerns with Intel's new processor. 6 March 1999 Microsoft accused of "monopoly tactics" New allegations are made as Microsoft President Steve Balmer takes the stand. 6 March 1999 Intel's Pentium III put to the test PC Weak Labs puts the new Pentium III up against the industry's most comprehensive benchmark tests. 6 March 1999 Nutscratch fans: "Don't call me a fucking AOLer" Nutscratch users are balking at the prospect of an acquisition that associates them with the Internet's largest concentration of idiots. 6 March 1999 Doug S. Dungbeetle: fruitcakes and headaches In his first column, Doug speaks on USWeb's Joe Firmage and Apple's new "safe user" policy. 6 March 1999 Nutscratch Communications loses court case Makers of the Nutscratch web browser have been forced to pay a no-talent rapper $90.

IBM: new marketing In a bold experiment, Big Blue have sacked their marketing department, allowing the computer giant’s own Research and Development arm to fill the void. Wasting no time, the newly empowered developers put their own spin on the company, officially redesignating the company’s nickname from ‘Big Blue’ to ‘SIZE=5 COLOR=#0000FF’. IBM chairman Lou Gerstner’s only comment was, “this is going to look real bad on my resume, isn’t it?” Conference ‘useful’ In what is considered to be yet another internet urban legend, rumors are circulating that a European IT consultant found an industry conference to be, “really useful and not at all a waste of time.” The legend goes that the individual attended the CeBIT ’99 conference for the full duration, did not go to any cocktail parties, and actually gained valuable knowledge which was subsequently put to good use back at the office. Industry analysts debunked the story, adding that it casts a bad light on the conference industry as a whole by implying conferences are more like “real work” than a junket. Journalist accused A PC Weak journalist was accused of writing a News In Brief article so the column would fill out to the bottom of the page. Thirty-four year old journalist Chuck Wobbly denied the charge, claiming his article, titled "Journalist accused", was newsworthy.