Preparing For the Inevitable
Death of a Family Pet
The following "Questions and Answers" should provide some direction and comfort to those who experience the loss of a pet.
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A Public Service of the I.A.P.C.
(International Association of Pet Cemeteries)
When we introduce a new pet into our family we don't think about the life span of that pet (nor do we want to), but it is a fact that the life span of a pet averages only 12 to 14 years, a relatively short time compared to the 75 to 80 year life span of a human.
We plan their orientation into the family home; we find a veterinarian to care for their health; we teach them proper manners and take them to school for obedience training; they either accompany us on vacations or when they can't join us, we investigate kennel facilities.
We cover all aspects of our pet's brief stay on this earth, but even as the reach their twilight years, we refuse to face the day when our pet will no longer be with us. Understandably, this is something no one wants to face because it is a very painful, grief-filled experience, but having some knowledge of the options available when a pet dies, helps ease the confusion and pain. The following "Questions and Answers" should provide some direction and comfort to those who experience the loss of a pet.
WHAT SHOULD I DO IF MY PET DIES AT HOME?
Until decisions and preparations can be made find the coldest part of your dwelling, such as the basement floor (away from heat), garage floor, or in cold weather, and enclosed porch or the trunk of your car. (DO NOT PLACE THE PET OUTSIDE IN A UNPROTECTED AREA). Lay a piece of plastic down first. Place newspapers on next. Lay the pet directly on the newspapers or, if you prefer, lay a blanket or towel down next. Cover the pet with another blanket, towel or sheet.
WHAT IF MY PET DIES WHILE AT MY VETERINARIAN?
Try not to panic. There is no hurry on making a hasty decision. Most veterinary clinics or hospitals cooperate with pet cemeteries and have cold storage where your pet can be kept for a day or two until you decide your options. Most veterinary clinics will place the pet in a plastic bag known as a body bag.
CAN I SEE MY PET AGAIN?
If your pet should die at a veterinary hospital, you may view your pet there. Some clinics require someone to identify the pet and make arrangements for it's after-death body care disposition. Veterinarians are trained in health care and disease prevention, they are not necessarily trained in afterlife pet care. Emotional support and guidance will vary with professionals.
If the choice is to have the pet buried or cremated at a pet cemetery, arrangements can be made to have proper viewing of the pet prior to burial or cremation. These services are similar to those offered for humans. Usually there is an extra charge for body care and viewing. Viewing is an important step in making a healthy adjustment from the trauma of pet loss.
CAN I TAKE MY PET'S BODY HOME?
YOUR PET BELONGS TO YOU. Not only can you take it home, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to decide what is to be done. Somehow our society has a misconception that they have no right to the body of their deceased pet. You wouldn't dream of leaving a beloved human member of your family at a hospital without making final arrangements for it. This holds true you YOUR PET.
AT THE TIME OF THE LOSS OF A PET, WHAT OPTIONS ARE AVAILABLE?
There are several options available. They are: Burial in a Pet Cemetery, Cremation, Home Burial, or Disposal Service.
BURIAL IN A PET CEMETERY
There are many pet cemeteries throughout the United States, Canada, England, Russia, Poland, Brazil, Japan and other parts of the world that provide burial services. Types of burial services are private or communal.
With private burial, a pet is separately prepared and buried in an individual lot or grave site where memorial markers can be provided for the pet. There are many variants from cemetery to cemetery depending on the geographic location, local regulations, available facilities and range of services. Pet cemeteries and pet funeral homes provide a wide range of choices, enabling the pet owner to select a casket, vault and plot that meet both emotional and financial requirements.
Another method is mausoleum burial where a casketed pet body is placed in a crypt. Again, this is more expensive and not available in very pet cemetery.
Some pet cemeteries provide a common or communal burial area where pets are buried along with other deceased pets. Memorials may or may not be available in these areas, but many pet cemeteries provide areas with some form of memorialisation. One method is to provide a memory wall where plaques or plates are displayed honouring the deceased pets. Others provide areas where individual memorialising is allowed. Some cemeteries offer trees, flower gardens, benches, etc. to be dedicated in memory of a pet and an acknowledgement plaque is affixed to these memorials.
Pet funeral arrangements, not unlike funerals for humans, are available at most pet cemeteries. Unlike human cemeteries, pet cemeteries perform the duties and services of both a funeral home and cemetery.
WHAT IS THE COST OF PET FUNERAL/BURIAL?
The costs of a pet funeral & burial vary depending upon the method of burial (in-ground or above-ground), the type of burial (individual or communal), the type of casket and other amenities preferred. There are many options available and any IAPC member cemetery & funeral home is willing to explain procedures and quote prices by telephone.
What is CREMATION?
Cremation is the process of reducing matter by exposing it to intense heat. Through high temperatures and evaporation the is reduced to skeletal remains or cremains. These cremains are then processed to reduce them to small fragments.
Cremation service is offered both on an individual (private) or group (mass) basis.
WHAT IS THE COST OF CREMATION?
While cost vary from facility to facility, any IAPC member will quote prices via telephone. Because facilities offer many different types of services, it is best to call or visit the cemetery before making a selection.
IS A CASKET REQUIRED FOR CREMATION?
A casket is not required for cremation. If a casket is used it must be biodegradable (made of wood w/o metal fasteners or heavy cardboard. Many pet caskets are made of polystyrene (plastic) or fibreglass these will not be acceptable for cremation processing.
IS THERE A MEMORIAL SERVICE AVAILABLE FOR CREMATION?
Yes, arrangements can be made with the pet cemetery/funeral home to allow viewing and/or a memorial service prior to cremation.
CAN A CREMATION BE WITNESSED BY THE PET OWNER?
Many pet crematory operators allow for the cremation to be attended. There may additional fees for this service. Because of schedules special appointments may be required.
IS EMBALMING NECESSARY?
No. Embalming is a process that preserves the body and is not necessary for cremation. It is an option that some cemeteries provide and is useful in cases where a body is to be held for an extended period of time. Most cemeteries will hold the pet's body in cold storage and this can accomplish some of the benefits of embalming.
CAN I BE POSITIVE THAT I HAVE MY PET'S CREMAINS?
Each pet cemetery has it's own method for identification of pet upon receipt at the cemetery. If the pet is removed from a veterinary hospital the clinic will normally affix some sort of identification tag to the container holding the pet or to the pet itself. During the cremation process the identification tag is placed near the crematory allowing positive identification by the crematory operator at all times. Most crematories issue a certificate verifying that the pet was cremated at their facility on a given date.
WHAT IS AN URN?
An urn is a receptacle especially made to hold the cremated remains (cremains). Urns are made in many styles and materials.
WHAT IS A NICHE?
A niche is a recessed compartment used for the enurnment of cremains. The niche is usually sealed with a protective front such as bronze, marble, granite, wood or glass.
WHAT IS A COLUMBARIUM?
A columbarium is an arrangement for niches erected for the sole purpose of accepting cremains which are usually contained in urns. A columbarium can be indoors or out.
WHAT IS A CREMATION OR SCATTER GARDEN?
A cremation or scatter garden is a special section of land, set aside for the burial or scattering of cremains.
IS IT LEGAL TO SCATTER CREMAINS?
Because cremation reduces a body basically to the calcium contained in the bones, most areas have no restrictions. When in doubt, contact your local authorities.
WHAT IS A CRYPT?
A crypt is a space designed to hold a deceased body, that has been placed in a casket. It is a larger version of a niche and does not require the body to be cremated. A group of crypts is called a mausoleum. A crypt or mausoleum is referred to as "above-ground" burial where in-ground burial is impossible due to high water table or rocky surface conditions.
HOME BURIAL
A pet belongs to its owner and after-care is at the owner's discretion. Although some municipalities have regulations governing the burial of pets on residential property, home burial may be a possible option. Usually caskets, vaults and memorial markers are available for home burial from a local pet cemetery. Many people find later that they may have to remove the pet from their property in the event it is sold. Burial should be deep enough (3.5 to 4 ft.) to discourage predators from disturbing the pet's body.
VETERINARIAN PROVIDED DISPOSAL SERVICE
Most veterinarians offer disposal service and one should find out, "what will happen to my pet?" These services vary from one veterinarian to another. Depending on local regulations and situation of the veterinarian, the service can mean that the pet is sent to the local animal shelter for mass disposal, to a rendering company or landfill. It can also include mass "communal cremation" or in some instances the pets may be "communally buried" with other daily trash. It is prudent to find out "hospital/clinic policy" for disposal of your pets remains so that your wishes can be carried out satisfactorily. In most cases your veterinarian will work with you to that end.
CAN I PREPARE IN ADVANCE FOR THE INEVITABLE?
It is always wise to prepare in advance. Decisions made while under stress are not always satisfactory and it is very stressful to go through the ordeal of pet death. While your pet is living, visit your local pet cemetery (click here to find an IAPC member pet cemetery near you). Find out what they have to offer; inquire about the costs and procedures. Be sure that the cemetery chosen is an IAPC member in good standing. Members display the IAPC plaque and are obligated to uphold the Association's Code of Ethics. A visit to the grounds provides information necessary for informed decisions.
IS IT NORMAL TO GRIEVE OVER THE LOSS OF A PET?
It is just as normal to grieve over the loss of a pet as it is to grieve over the loss of a human. Not only is it normal, but it is healthy to grieve. Suppressing grief causes more pain. Tears are an important part of accepting and working through the grief. Remember the funny things they did. The more you remember (no matter how painful it is) the better you will feel. Saying your final "goodbye's", planning and being part of the funeral arrangements is an important part of accepting the loss. By allowing someone else to make all the final plans, YOU are denying the loss and grief will be prolonged. Your pet's final disposition should be known to you and this could help to reduce your pain.
HOW LONG IS A NORMAL GRIEF PERIOD?
There is no "normal" set time for grief. Different people react in different ways. Many times grieving people question their sanity. This is the pain and confusion of grief. Grief should not be hidden. Grieving people should associate with others who understand and are sympathic. Avoid those that don't understand. Further rejection at this time should be avoided. Don't be ashamed or try to hide your grief. Grief denied is grief retained. The longer it is denied the longer you will grieve.
ARE THERE PET GRIEF COUNSELLING GROUPS AVAILABLE?
The University of California, Davis has a National Pet Grief Hot Line. Your local IAPC cemetery should be able to direct you to others in your area.
IS THERE A PET MEMORIAL DAY?
The International Association of Pet Cemeteries has designated the Second Sunday in September as National Pet Memorial Day. Most pet cemeteries, IAPC members and non-member observe Pet Memorial Day with special ceremonies, open houses and other events.
HOW CAN I LOCATE A RELIABLE CEMETERY OR CREMATORY?
Yellow pages are the best place to start (under the heading of Pet Cemeteries & Crematories). Also, veterinary clinics may make this information available. Click here for an IAPC member cemetery An IAPC member cemetery assures reliability and subscribes to a Code of Ethics. If you are inquiring about a specific cemetery or crematory to find out if it is a member in good standing call
518 594 3000 or E-mail PeterLucy@aol.com
This page may be copied or reprinted, credit is due to the International Association of Pet Cemeteries
Pet Rest Gardens Pet Cemetery,