Feeding Challenge Pool 5.0 to the sharks.
By - Allen "slowdrag" Eccles
Last Week's Ass End of Gaming focused on a "virtual mechanic" simulation entitled, Gearhead Garage. We shelled out $30 bucks for Gearhead Garage, only to discover its list price was supposed to be something like $15. So the bargain bin really bit us on the ass that time.
This week, eager to make up for our past defeat, GameSpy brought me on board to look at the cheapest title we've found to date. Sadly, at $4.99, I regret to say that Challenge Pool 5.0 is overpriced.
 |
| Challenge Pool's installation screen. Also included is a nifty version of darts. |
I've never been a great pool player, but always aspired to learn its intricacies. I was really excited that this game would help simulate the two reasons that I love to play pool in bars:
 |
| Scary Pool-Hall Bar Babes(tm) weren't included. Dammit. |
Craving for a fun filled Friday, I decided to hone my skills and prep for the night with Challenge Pool 5.0. It neither included beer nor girls -- maybe they're saving that for the eagerly anticipated 6.0 upgrade. Instead I was stuck with "Clipit," the Microsoft Word office assistant, and shaithis (sorry man). But still, learning a few new shots couldn't hurt my chances with the ladies either. Tricks and style are important. Remember that.
10 Minutes Later...
After searching Webster's Online Thesaurus for the word "suck" to appropriate Challenge Pool with a nicer, more suitable synonym, I concluded that "suck" provided the closest truth. Stinky, smelly, funky and lousy will suffice, but in all reality, this game just plain "sucks."
 |
| Notice the vibrant 256 scheme Challenge Pool utilizes. Cutting edge. |
This overpriced $4.99 bargain-bin title boasts of being an accurate simulation capable of calculating "angles, speeds, spins and collisions." Included with the game's 422,204kb of installation are ten levels of play, six different balls spins, cue ball angle aim, and most importantly, uninstall information.
My balls bounced in ways physically impossible, and I was able to pull off tricks shots more commonly than the pro's. If you're in the mood for a serious game, play the computer on level 10. The AI is mind-blowing. Or maybe, the word "blowing," is a better description.
As for Challenge Pool's good attributes, it can be played on a 486 with 8mb of memory and 256 color display. But wait, there's more. BearWare (affectionately known as, "BarelyWear,") also threw in a game of "Virtual Darts." I was looking forward to trying this out, hoping it would provide an accurate simulation of darts' appeal to me:
 |
| Point, click, and toss your darts and cookies simultaneously. |
Yes, with virtual darts you slide your mouse along the dart board and click to throw. It's virtual darts. It's virtually pointless. It's like all the fun of darts, without the pesky social interaction, enjoyment, or chance to go home with someone's phone number.
If you are still interested, Challenge Pool 5.0 can be found in the stockings of several naughty children on December 25.
[The Ass-End of Gaming covers bargain-bin software and appears every Saturday on GameSpy.com. It's not to be taken as a serious review. Nor should it be taken while operating heavy machinery.]
