Our pulp video guy delivers stunning commentary on Sean Connery's best film since Highlander 2.

August 6, 1999

Before Judge Dredd, Sean Connery was the law.

OUTLAND

On Jupiter's moon he's the only law Here's a little koan for you; what is the one thing better than a Sean Connery movie? A Sean Connery movie in SPACE! No, Highlander 2 doesn't count.

I'm talkin' the 1981 action flick Outland. Marshall W.T. O'Niel (Sean Connery) arrives on Io (as in that moon of Jupiter) to police a mining colony filled with hard working, hard drinking miners. Like a good lawman, O'Niel just wants to do his job, which is catch bad guys. The only trouble is that his deputies are on the payroll of the local mining company boss (Peter Boyle), who is illegally importing and distributing a drug that makes people work real hard then drives them crazy. Said crazy people are doing predictably crazy things like going outside without a pressure suit. Nobody but O'Niel seems to care, not even the colony doctor (Frances Sternhagen). Then his wife, tired of living in space, takes O'Niel's hammy, but really, really earnest son and leaves. Faced with the prospect of losing himself in his job and losing his family in the process, O'Niel decides to discharge his duty one last time, clean up the mining town, trade sarcastic remarks with the doctor, and then leave to rejoin his family.

I don't want to spoil the movie, but the hero wins the day. But the hero is Sean Connery, so he wins the day only after a long string of knockdown drag-outs from one end of the sealed mining colony environment to the other (and occasionally outside). It's sleeves rolled up Scots-in-space action at its best. This may not be Connery's deepest roll, but Sean isn't a mere mortal and should always be worshiped (write that down). Plus he's got this thing about slamming people's heads into big objects as a way to finish a fight that is really cool. Gor, a little Scottish kung-fu fer ye!

If Outland had horses it could have been called a western. It has all the classic western elements. You've got a new, honest sheriff (OK, marshal) just trying to do the right thing. The story takes place in a lawless frontier town (only the frontier is space, not the American West). The villain is a crooked corporate boss (similar to the cattle barons in old westerns) who uses hired guns from out of town to enforce his own rules. There is a worn out lawman that has taken to looking the other way and a cynical, drunk of a town doctor.

There are really just three characters of importance. The first is Connery's character O'Niel. The second is Doctor Lazarus, who is so cranky and sarcastic that you find yourself hoping that she'll flip out and take a few swings herself. And the third is Peter Boyle, playing the shaggy and smug colony boss, Sheppard. Peter Boyle is one of the best character actors around and in Outland he's the perfect corporate meanie. By the end of the movie you're giddy about the sucker punch you just know he's going to get from our man Sean. Outland is clearly part of the realistic production design pool of films of the late 70s and early 80s. Films like Alien or Silent Running, and to some far, far, away degree, Star Wars. The environment is gritty, the people are average-looking and wear baseball caps, and cooks still use deep fat fryers. It's only when O'Niel makes a video phone call, Lazarus analyzes a chemical, Sheppard plays some golf, or some nameless rock jockey falls out an airlock that we remember that this is science-fiction because they're in space. Strangely enough, the 1981 view of the future seems kind of corny and dated. No computer-generated effects, I guess.

Nevertheless this movie has Sean Connery in it. Period. Rent it or I'll headbutt ye.

--Chris Stewart wants a marshall ballcap like Sean Connery's.

Chris Stewart is one of IGN Sci-Fi's newest columnists. He'll be here every Thursday. Questions and comments on all columnists and reviews are welcome at editors@dailysci-fi.com.

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