What's the difference between a male and female Autobot? Lipstick. Omega Supreme: Robot, Train, Rocket, Loving Parent. I eat planets for breakfast and I still didn't rate a toy.

Relive your favorite childhood memories every week. Today, we kick it off with everybody's favorite robot show: The Transformers!

February 1, 2000

We should be going, "The Great Cartoon Archive! Because You Demanded It!" Which is true. When we last put up our 80s cartoon retrospectives on Transformers: The Movie and G.I. Joe: The Movie, fan response was tremendous. You wanted your M.A.S.K., your Robotech, your He-Man, your Thundarr... the list went on and on. You want your toons, and we're going to give it to you.

Starting this week and every following Monday, we'll bring another piece of classic cartoon history back to life. We give you a bit of context, a little history, and best of all, theme songs! So grab some sugary cereal, sit yourself in front of the computer, and journey back into the ancient 80s...

The Time: Late 1984-1990, syndicated TV

The Company: Hasbro, Marvel

The Skinny: Back when Hasbro was a smaller, non-Microsoftian company, it was lean, hungry, and looking for something to compete against those darn Star Wars toys dominating the market. At the time, those ancient Mego toys, the Micronauts, were also big, and in Japan, Takara, the original Micronaut makers, had designed cool robots that transformed from everyday, normal appliances (radios, cars), into robots. Hasbro thought, "Cool!", and bought the rights from Takara. They retooled and redesigned some of the toys (with the help of legendary comic artist John Romita), and came up with a name: Transformers.

Originally, they first appeared in a set of comics by Marvel, but late in 1984, when the toys were ready, they introduced the Transformers cartoon (which, by the way, is one of the few instances of a Japanese toy line getting a cartoon series in America first), and soon, its tagline, "More than Meets the Eye" was on the tongues of more adolescent boys than "Whatchutalkin'about, Willis?"Hasbro bought more Japanese robot toy lines, expanded the roster over and over again, until the bottom fell out of the market in the late 80s.

The Story: On planet Cybertron, millions of years ago (65+ million, to be more specific), a violent civil war broke out between two factions: the militant Decepticons and the noble Autobots. Besides being good and evil, there was a more significant difference. The Decepticons could fly, and the Autobots could not. In order to fight each other more effectively (depending on which continuity you subscribe to,) they developed the ability to transform into high-powered offensive vehicles.

Later, the Autobot flagship, the Ark, was intercepted by Megatron, leader of the Decepticons, and their battle sent them crashing to a prehistoric Earth. As the 20th century rolled around, the Ark reactivated, and in attempting to help to the Transformers to camouflage themselves with the native mechanical life (cars, radios, cameras, planes, etc.), it rebuilt them all to transform into Earth vehicles. Once activated, though, the Autobots and the Decepticons continued to battle with one another over Energon and world domination into the early 21st century.

Effects on Popular American Culture: Giant robots, while in and out of vogue over the years, have never fully gone away. Along with Robotech and He-Man, Transformers have managed to impart a love of big-clanking things to the animators on Powerpuff Girls, Dexter's Laboratory, Reboot, and many other shows.

Where are they now?: Optimus Prime, Megatron, the Decepticons, and the Autobots are long gone. If they didn't die in the movie, then they've mysteriously vanished into the mists of time. In America and most of the Western world, Transformers continuity returned with Mainframe's computer-animated Beast Wars and Beast Machines series. In Japan, though, they've extended the original Transformers continuity without resorting to a totally new cast. In fact, Optimus Prime, or Convoy, in currently in his sixth or seventh incarnation. Now he's a fire truck.

Video:

• Classic Transformers Intro:
  
  • small -- 2.6 MB
  • large -- 4.9 MB
• Classic Transformers Ending:
  
  • small -- 2.5 MB
  • large -- 6.3 MB
• Post-Movie Intro:
  
  • small -- 2.5 MB
  • large -- 5.2 MB
• Post-Movie Ending:
  
  • small -- 3.4 MB
  • large -- 7.3 MB

Reference:

• The Transformers FAQ

What do you want to see in the Great Cartoon Archive? We want to hear your two cents.

For the latest and greatest in animation news and reviews, check out our affiliate, StayTooned.

Sliders, Eye of the Storm - tv - (1.31.00)

Avengers, What a Vision has to Do - tv - (1.31.00)

Stargate SG-1, Urgo - tv - (1.31.00)

Lexx, Wake the Dead - tv - (1.31.00)

Now and Again, I am the Greatest - tv - (1.31.00)

Starship Troopers Chronicles, Captured - tv - (1.31.00)

Farscape, Family Ties - tv - (1.31.00)

Why No Star Wars on DVD? - movies - (1.28.00)