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Come on inside -- we're all friends here, aren't we? Except for that red haired guy in the back.
Star Trek: Evil Kneival
Here is a list of the top then things to do while waiting for Star Trek: Hidden Evil.
1. Call local computer store about release date repeatedly
2. Stare at screenshots on Activision website
3. Watch Star Trek Voyager (Lord help us!)
4. Go to Jack in the Box for Ultimate Cheeseburger
5. Play Birth of the Federation
6. Throw BOTF CD into fire
7. Go to Jack in the Box for Ultimate Cheeseburger
8. Play Starfleet Command
9. Throw Starfleet Command into Fire
10. Repeat steps 4 and 7 again and again and again
Thanks,
IGN.COM RULES!
-- Jeff
That sounds like a plan Jeff, though we're sort of wondering how the hell you're supposed to play SC and BotF after throwing them in the fire. Does that mean that you have to actually re-purchase them every time? And wouldn't that be hard, since after #1, the stores probably won't want to have to talk to you anymore? That's why we've worked out this quick equation to help you out:
4 + 7 = 10 except where 4 + 7 (6 + 9), then 4 + 7 (6 + 9) = 4 + 7 (6 + 9) - 1 + 3 x 1000.
Hope that clears things up.
-- Vincent
Do Ducks Filled With Cheese Float Better?
I have an idea for a game where you throw ducks at balloons and nothing
is as it seems...
-Mojo the helper monkey
Here's where I get confused -- I understand the ducks and balloons part (who wouldn't), but I'm confused as to the "nothing is as it seems" part. Are you implying that the ducks are, in fact, filled with some kind of cheese, possibly Gouda? Or is it that the balloons are made of snake skin or something? Help me out here…
-- Vincent
Haiku Ass Kickin'
I saw how Mr. Robot ripped into me on Friday's letter. That wasn't nice. Mr. Robot, I hope you know how a good, old fashioned ASS KICKIN feels, Haiku
Style.
Mr. Robot, his tin
Ass Kicked: His only idea
EXTREME BULLRIDING
-- The Edge
I was going to respond to your haiku, Edge, until I realized that your format was 6-7-5 instead of 5-7-5. "Mr." Counts as two syllables. A fatal flaw, my nemesis. I shall be awaiting your next response.
-- Mr. Robot
It's A) B) Time
Dear Sirs (and/or Robots) at IGN,
I would just like to say that you were a little too easy on that guy
Pohl who wrote condemning your dislike of Myst/Riven (they are the same
game, right? ;) ). The whole premise of his letter is hypocritical. He
condems you as "a single-minded bastard" (although, last time I checked, everyone was in possession of one mind) due to the fact that you do not like (understandibly) the said games and advise others not to waste their money on those games. However, he is doing what he seems to deplore in you: condeming others due to their gaming preference.
Also, on another topic, I think you should quit saying that you love all of your readers for two very good reasons:
a) It probably isn't true
b) As most of your readers are minors, that could get you in trouble ;)
Besides being a little too lenient at times, however, you people seem
to be veritable kings among men. Keep up the good work.
Post Script: Good job with the Haikus :)
-- Bryan
Well, Bryan:
A) Of course we love everyone. When have we ever lied to you? Ignore that one time you're thinking about. And that other one. That too.
B) We're talking pure agape' love here, buddy -- pure "let's trade Pokemon or I'll punch you in the stomach" sort of friendship.
C) As for being too lenient, we'll see about that. From now on, we're going to… eh. I'll think about it later.
-- Vincent
Age Rage
Today I went to the local Babbages, where I've bought such great games as Diablo, Half-Life, Quake II, Dungeon Keeper 2, GTA1, and the now ancient Duke Nukem in the past. I was there only to buy the new GTA game, cause I thought it was awesome. Well, surprise surprise, I wasn't allowed to. You heard right, i was allowed to buy those violent rated "M" games in the past, from age 9 to 13. Now, though, at age 14, I wasn't allowed to buy the friggin thing. I tried Electronic Boutique, and ran into the same problem.
So, I just wanted to warn you other young people out there and (commend? scold?) the Electronic gaming stores for finally obeying those ratings on the boxes.
Well, back to my ROLLER COASTER TYCOON!!! :+(
-- Austin Zentz
What can we say? Pretty soon it'll be just like movie theaters -- some places will check ID all the time, some won't care. Either you start giving your parents the facts on the game and let them decide, or take up pottery until you're eighteen. I've heard a Duke Nukem pot/ashtray goes for around $250 on eBay these days.
-- Vincent
Can I Buy Stuff Free and Then Have Stuff?
Can I buy pokemon cards here?
Can I buy playstation games?
Will I get it in the mail?
Do I have to pay for them right
away?
-- Anonymous Eager Gamer
Sure -- no problem! How about you give us half the money now, and then we'll send you half the stuff. You'll get the other half of the stuff when we get our money.
Then you can glue it all back together.
-- Vincent
send your letters to: pc_mail@ign.com
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